Posts filed under ‘Personality’

Happy Family of Four and Two

The Wonderful World of Personality Color might be more accurately described as the Wondering Why, World of Personality Color.

The more we understand the complexities of personalities, the more we realize it is not just a matter of what differs; it is a matter of why we differ that creates a lifetime of relationship challenges and issues.

These blog postings will offer you some insight, some answers and some food for both thought and conversations. Each blog will pose a scenario that will reflect a situation involving assorted personality colors. Maybe different personality colors, maybe the same personality colors. In any blend, the insight will always add new meaning to living a colorful life.

Over time you will get to know by name and personality color, the characters who will be featured in this perspective of life’s interactions. Here’s one that you may have already experienced, or may yet experience, the challenges of the relationship between a Yellow female and an Orange male.Fairway Follies

Life’s joys and challenges in the household of Yvonne (Yellow) and Oscar (Orange) as they are played out in the world of today.

Yvonne grew up in the suburbs of a large Midwestern city, the oldest of three girls. The three sisters were best friends throughout their childhood. Yvonne was always the leader and served as a quasi-mother from her late pre-teens. Her sisters grew accustomed to her taking full responsibility for their activities and well-being when they were away from home and sometimes even when they were home alone.

While the younger sisters enjoyed the normal little girl activities, Yvonne seldom joined in. She was more interested in how things worked than in playing with them, even as a child. In school she excelled academically because she loved learning and applying what she learned on a practical basis to her first job, even while still in high school.

By the time she reached college she had worked at a number of positions of responsibility and adapted very well to managerial tasks. During those growth years she had little time for social activities and girlfriend relationships. So when she met Oscar in a science class, and enjoyed his sensitivity and caring nature, they started dating.

One thing led to another in their relationship, and after graduation they were married in a beautiful formal ceremony in her hometown. Her sisters served as the maidens of honor and Oscar’s brother as the best man. It was truly perceived by both of the families and all of their friends as the realization of a match made in Heaven.

Yvonne continued her career with a large technology firm and quickly rose to a managerial position overseeing a staff of product development and technical employees. The responsibilities suited her very well and she looked forward to dealing with the challenges she confronted every day. Instinctively, Yvonne thrived on creativity and originality and harnessed those abilities to enhance the productivity of her department to an attention-getting level throughout the entire organization.

Oscar finished college with a teaching credential and joined the staff at a local high school teaching biology and coaching the school’s baseball team. It was the perfect position for him because he was able to work with classes of eager and enthusiastic students and athletes. He especially enjoyed the opportunity to interact with all of his students both as a teacher and as a source of parental guidance when they sought that from him.

For the first few years their relationship was fulfilling and satisfying to both of them. They were kept busy in their chosen professions and adjusting to establishing their individual scopes of responsibility within their relationship.

In their fourth year, they decided that it was time to start a family. Their first born was Ronny, and two years later they welcomed Gwen into the family. Two babies plus Blonday, a golden retriever, and Gagwood, a large Persian tomcat filled not only the house, it filled their lives with constant activity and demanding responsibilities.

After adjusting to the demands of motherhood, Yvonne began to realize that it was conflicting seriously with her career. Her business travel unlike before was now an issue, and working weekends and ten hour workdays was stressfully impacting the well-being of the family.

Oscar, contrary to the demands on Yvonne’s time, had few after school commitments other than in baseball playoff season. That enabled him to start picking the kids up from daycare and taking care of them through the evenings. The more he did with the kids and the pets the more he realized how much he enjoyed caring for them.

Soon he was grocery shopping on his way home from daycare and fixing dinner for the entire family to help take the burden off of Yvonne’s shoulders. Needless to say, she appreciated what he was doing and he actually felt right in place in the kitchen and assuming the supportive role.

Meanwhile, Yvonne’s career was advancing and she was promoted to a regional manager with territorial responsibilities that demanded more travel and longer hours both in the office and at home.

The chosen non-typical roles suited each of them very well. Oscar loved the family responsibilities and Yvonne loved the challenges of the business world. Had either of them been of other personality colors, their lives and relationship would have been dramatically different.

Observations

ORANGE

From Oscar’s Orange approach to life, he loved his teaching career and his family life equally. His basic motivation was to take care of those he cared for, be they in the school where he taught, or at home with his wife, kids and pets. The more Oscar could do to care for everyone within his sphere of influence, the more fulfilled and satisfied he was. His ultimate feeling of satisfaction in life was in freeing Yvonne from some of the household demands and the obligations of motherhood. She could then fulfill her potential in the business world by his expanding the parental role to include a significant number of the domestic responsibilities.

YELLOW

Yvonne’s Yellow leadership behavioral patterns surfaced early in life. While she felt comfortable in some feminine aspects of childhood, she didn’t connect with traditional female interests or activities. That may have resulted in her picking up a ‘Tomboy’ identity which would be a part of the pattern she would follow into adulthood. Her comfort zone throughout life would be focused on what she was able to accomplish based on her skills, abilities, interests and achievements rather than on the typical female responsibilities.

In the marital relationship, she balanced the role of motherhood and business woman successfully through the willingness of Oscar to assume some of the maternal and household responsibilities.

ORANGE / YELLOW

As was observed on their wedding day, this was truly a match made in Heaven as they were both meeting the needs of their personality colors – the needs of the Orange is to provide emotional support and care for those they love, and the needs of the Yellow is to make a difference in the lives of their family and those within their sphere of influence.

Useful Suggestions

ORANGE

If you are an Orange male, you may feel significant satisfaction in taking care of family, friends and associates. Your motivation is to take everyone under your wings and protect them from the unpleasant elements of life. Your emotional decision making style is driven by a concern that everyone feels supported and cared for, and that each person’s needs are met. It’s this quality of your personality that makes it comfortable for you to take on typical feminine roles and responsibilities. Consequently, you may fit well in a relationship with a mate who is less concerned with family needs than with career demands. It can be a good and healthy balance for both.

YELLOW

If you are a Yellow female of any age, recognize that your image to the world will not be stereotypical because your interests since childhood have been to do what you can to make life better for those you care about by helping them cope with life’s issues more effectively. As a logical decision maker rather than an emotional decision maker, and as a problem solver rather than an emotional nurturer, you may find yourself struggling with not living assumed feminine expectations and more comfortable in typical male roles and responsibilities.

However, because of your confident sense of self you may also find yourself intimidating your peers, both male and female.

Stay Tuned

The next blog will touch the lives of a family of six – Dad (Green), Mom (Red), and a rainbow of colors of kids tackling the challenges of 2013.

Don’t know your personality color? Join our personality network and find out what it is. The cost is only $1.95. A small price for the wealth of information you’ll receive. Information that can improve the quality of your relationships, minimize the conflict in your interactions with people, and change your life forever.

Join Now for just $1.95

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December 6, 2012 at 12:00 am 1 comment

The Fairway Follies with the 19th Hole Hubbies

The Wonderful World of Personality Color might be more accurately described as the Wondering Why, World of Personality Color.

The more we understand the complexities of personalities, the more we realize it isn’t just a matter of what differs; it’s a matter of why we differ that creates a lifetime of relationship challenges and issues.

These blog postings will offer you some insight, some answers and some food for both thought and conversations. Each blog will pose a scenario that will reflect a situation involving assorted personality colors. Maybe different personality colors, maybe the same personality colors. In any blend, the insight will always add new meaning to living a colorful life.

Over time you’ll get to know by name and personality color, the characters who’ll be featured in this perspective of life’s interactions. Here’s one that you may have already experienced, or may yet experience, the challenges of multi-year relationships.

Fairway Follies

The Fairway Follies with the 19th Hole Hubbies

This scene finds a five-some of husbands who have golfed together on a monthly basis for years. While they are getting ready to tee off on the first hole, George (Green) says, “OK gang, what are we playing for today? How about high score buys the first round after the front nine?”

Dan Yonkers (Yellow) offered another idea, “How about low score gets treated to a lunch and beverage in addition to George’s suggestion. That gives us all an extra incentive to play better than we did last month. If I remember correctly the beverages after the ninth hole may have impacted our strokes, so maybe that will temper things a little.”

Oscar (Orange) chimed in and said, “I agree with both of you guys, but I would like to see this be more of a relaxing friendly day than the cut-throat round it was last month. You guys were more into winning than enjoying the friendship and exercise and the beautiful day.”

Ralph (Red) “OK guys, knock off the BS and let’s play golf. It’s tee time and we need to start sending those little white balls flying down the fairway. Robert (Red), you’re up, so let’s see if you can hit the first shot better than you did last month. I’d never seen your slice sail two fairways over before.”

Robert responded, “OK Ralphy, don’t shoot your eye out. You’re on for the first cold one if you can outdrive me on this hole.”

And away they went happily challenging and baiting each other for eighteen holes, and winding up for dinner in the Country Club’s appropriately named restaurant, The Nineteenth Hole.

“Wow!” said George (G), “That was one great day. The weather was perfect, the greens were perfect and the golfing was everything but perfect, but it still wore me out. I’m tired, hungry and ready to sit for a while. Tell me Robert (Red), how’s Gracie, (G) that cute little wife of yours doing? Is she still trying to civilize you and get you to go to her concerts? I’d follow her anywhere if I was you. What Greta (G) and I do is take turns planning our time together and we always agree on everything, at least maybe, sometimes, anyway. Mostly she dreams things up and I generally agree, other than when neither of us can make a decision, then we just sit home and stare at the TV.”

“Yea, if you had to live with Gracie (G) you would probably follow her to the poorhouse George (G). That woman can really spend the money.” laughed Robert (R). “All she wants are endless piles of new things, like in everything. She’d replace furniture we haven’t even sat on if she saw something in a new color that she liked. Much as I try to control her, I do recognize that her middle name must be Change, and she thinks that mine is Never Change. We spend a lot of time trying to get that one sorted out. If I wasn’t so crazy about her I probably would just hole up somewhere and become a hermit.”

“Yea,” said Oscar (O). “And what would you do, just hole up somewhere and count your money. Would that keep you nice and warm and well fed on those cold winter nights? I feel that the true essence of relationships is in understanding and tolerating our differences and focusing on the positives, not the negatives. Yvonne (Y) and I accept who we are unconditionally, and without question. Frequently she is so into her work that I have to take over running the house and feeding of the kids. I’ve had to learn to suck it up and keep quiet, or I activate a side in her that you would not believe. Good disposition goes out the door when her feelings are hurt, and believe it or not, she does have feelings. Fortunately, I really enjoy occasionally playing the house husband role, and the kids and I have a good time together.”

“Just listen to what you guys are saying.” Dan Yonkers (Y) injected. “This sounds like a weekday soap opera. Don’t you understand that the differences between male and female are much greater than just the physically element. It goes all the way back to hunter–gatherer instincts and is compounded by the changes in male and female roles that our society is going through. Let me help you understand how to level the playing field without undermining what you and your mates want your relationships to be.

When my sweet Olivia (O) gets emotional and breaks into tears because I have done or said something that she considers insensitive, I apologize and try to minimize the duration of the hurt. If that doesn’t work, I fix a martini and retire to my man cave for awhile. When I check to see if it is safe for me to come out and it is, I apologize again and take her to dinner or a movie or someplace she enjoys. Generally within a day or two everything is back to her smotheringly normal. See how easy it is? Just recognize that hunters may bring the game home, but the gatherers are the ones who turn it into sustenance and nourishment, and, they wield the really sharp knives. In reality, although both parties contribute and either is replaceable, the true basis of any healthy relationship is not how much you get, but how much you are willing to give. Now with that brilliant bit of Yellow male wisdom, you should be able to resolve all of your petty issues.

Let’s toast to our health, to our wonderful spouses, whatever they may be doing tonight, and to our chef for this great dinner.”

Observations

RED

Robert (R) sees married life as a constant issue of containing Gracie’s (G) spending for things that he sees no need for. And he is aware of her seeing him as a penny pincher. That creates issues in their relationship which impact both family and social activities. He has reconciled this issue to be a significant but not serious factor in their staying together since he is the bread winner and she likes sharing the bread with the world.

ORANGE

Oscar (O) and Yvonne (Y) tolerate each other’s lives of role reversal. He recognizes that she overdoes it at times and that his best response is to try to understand her position or reaction and not challenge her to the point of creating conflict. Yvonne (Y) chooses to focus on her career and accepts the separation that creates with her family which is consistently with a minimization of the traditional mothering instinct.

YELLOW

Dan Yonkers (Y) recognizes that his golf mates, as with most men, are continually dealing with issues in their relationships, and as a good Yellow, he consistently offers some sort of a generalized perspective and understanding that could be applicable to them in their individual situations in an attempt to help them deal with their issues.

GREEN

George (G) wants everything to be fun and without stress or conflict. The basis of his relationship with Greta (G) is to do everything together and to make life go on without conflict. He enjoys the opposite sex and expresses that freely.

Useful Suggestions

RED

If you are a Red male dealing with Green female understand and accept the need for change in her life. Change is what motivates her and creates joy and happiness for her. Redundancy is her worst enemy. This is inconsistent with the Red modification of the old perspective, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t change it.’

ORANGE

If you are an Orange male dealing with Yellow female understand that she finds more satisfaction in solving life’s challenges than in domestic challenges. The role you play must be sensitive to that motivation and accept her seeming distancing herself from traditional patterns of female behavior.

YELLOW

If you are a Yellow male dealing with Orange female understand that you instinctively face emotional situations with apparent indifference because you view them simply as problems to be solved. Understand that she needs to be listened to and heard with compassion and patience, not with haste and seemingly cold-indifference.

GREEN

If you are a Green male dealing with Green female understand that both of you thrive on change. The challenge is to bring change into your lives that both of you can enjoy and feel satisfied with. Balance can work; decisions need to be made that are satisfactory to both parties. The key words are ‘decisions’ and ‘satisfactory’.

Stay Tuned

The next blog will find Yvonne (Y) and Oscar (O) dealing with responsibility issues pertaining to their careers and with ongoing family conflict.

Don’t know your personality color? Join our personality network and find out what it is. The cost is only $1.95. A small price for the wealth of information you’ll receive. Information that can improve the quality of your relationships, minimize the conflict in your interactions with people, and change your life forever.

Join Now for just $1.95

October 5, 2012 at 1:57 am Leave a comment

Personality – Five Women

The Wonderful World of Personality Color might be more accurately described as the Wondering Why, World of Personality Color.

The more we understand the complexities of personalities, the more we realize it isn’t just a matter of what differs; it’s a matter of why we differ that creates a lifetime of relationship challenges and issues.

These blog postings will offer you some insight, some answers and some food for both thought and conversations. Each blog will pose a scenario that will reflect a situation involving assorted personality colors. Maybe different personality colors, maybe the same personality colors. In any blend, the insight will always add new meaning to living a colorful life.

Over time you’ll get to know by name and personality color, the characters who’ll be featured in this perspective of life’s interactions. Here’s one that you may have already experienced, or may yet experience, the challenges of multi-year relationships.

Five Women

The Golf Widow Lunch Bunch

The opening scene finds five women who have been longtime friends gathered for lunch and talking about their spouses/partners, which is what women, and men, tend to do when together.

The location is a luncheon place, Munchies, in the suburbs of a large mid-western city. They meet each month while their spouses/partners are golfing, and catch up with each other’s lives. After ordering lunch, the subject comes up of what’s happening in their relationships.

Gracie (Green) starts the conversation complaining about the fact that her husband Robert (Red) has gotten so totally self-absorbed that all he would rather do is play golf, go with his buddies to ball games, or spend his weekends away from the house and the kids. She said, "We don’t do anything together, and worse yet, he won’t do anything I want him to do." She went on to say, "All of the things we used to enjoy together like going to concerts, shopping, or having our date nights don’t happen anymore. He doesn’t like my taste in music, and he refuses to go shopping with me because he said it takes too long and complains that it’s a total waste of his time. Then he says that my indecisiveness drives him crazy. I really feel he’s reluctant to go with me because he knows if he says anything that hurts my feelings I won’t talk to him. Basically, our relationship has become one where he lives his life and I live mine. I’m not sure why I stay with him."

Olivia (Orange) chimed in by being supportive to Gracie (Green) and tried to comfort her by saying, "I know that Robert must still love you because he’s stuck with you and the kids through thick and thin. Why don’t you just plan one of your date nights or maybe even plan a weekend with just the two of you so you can reconnect and share some good times again? Maybe you can go to a resort where he can play golf and you can get a massage and do some shopping. Then in the evening have a great dinner and just enjoy each other’s company.  I’ll be glad to watch the kids if you feel that would help."

"I think that is a great idea," said Yvonne (Yellow). The best way to deal with this is to invite him to join you in doing something you both enjoy doing. Or better yet, figure out a way to make it look like his idea. Tell him that you have an anniversary coming up and remind him how you used to celebrate every fifth year going to that mountain resort where you honeymooned. How can he say no? It’s a win-win for both of you. He gets to play golf, and you get to pamper yourself and go shopping. If you did that then perhaps you could rekindle that old flame. And, besides Olivia said she would watch the kids. So there, problem solved."

"Well, personally I think it should be more about having fun than complicating it by setting all these agendas. If he doesn’t want to have fun then he has the option to not join you, but I don’t see why you wouldn’t go by yourself. It seems to me that you just need to get away, and away from him," shared Greta (Green). "Look at all of the gorgeous younger single guys sitting here in the same room we’re in. I dumped my first two husbands for a lot fewer reasons than you’re dealing with. Life is too short to be so miserable. Life’s meant to be filled with laughter and excitement. You shouldn’t be locked up in that big house feeling lonely because someone would rather play golf and hang out with his buddies. When was the last time he asked you out on a date or took you out to dinner to your favorite restaurant, do you really want to grow old and still be miserable?"

"Okay, I’ve heard enough", Rita (Red) piped in. "Look at you Gracie (Green). You live in a big beautiful house, drive a new car every year, and are married to a successful businessman who pays for everything you need and you want. He’s loyal, dependable, and predictable. Then on top of all of that, you get a massage once a month. You go to fashion shows in New York every spring and come home with lots of clothes and tons of shoes. He takes you on his business trips. And, you’re resentful because he wants to play golf with his buddies?  What about what he wants? When was the last time that you showed an interest in what he wants to do? Stop and listen to yourself. If you’re that unhappy then just end it."

Observations

RED

Rita (Red) sees everything as black or white, and from a materialist perspective. Sharing emotions and being indecisive isn’t something she tolerates well. Her perspective is if Gracie (Green) is miserable and unappreciative then she should try harder. After all, Robert (Red) is working hard and a good provider. He deserves to have time to do what he wants.

ORANGE

Olivia (Orange) believes that relationships are built on love and emotional caring. She understands that relationships experience highs and lows and believes that when they’re low there’s even more reason to be sensitive to the needs of the other person. For Olivia, her motivation is to keep the peace by putting the needs of others first and foremost and her own needs last.

YELLOW

Yvonne (Yellow) is a knee-jerk problem solver. Whenever she hears someone pose a problem, whether real or not, she’s the first to jump in with suggestions and recommendations of how it might be best resolved. While her suggestions are well thought out and functional, she’s frequently seen as interfering where her help isn’t needed. In this case, Gracie (Green) was just lamenting and wasn’t really interested in doing anything about it. When a Yellow tries to help when help isn’t needed, then they find themselves feeling foolish.

GREEN

Gracie (Green) sees her married life as unfulfilling, unsatisfactory and boring. She wants excitement and variety. She wants to feel like she’s the most important thing in Robert’s (Red) life. Doing the same things at the same places with the same people feels like her life is in a rut.

Greta (Green) figures the only solution to any problem is to change it. Make the problem go away. Change is the key objective in her life and believes in order to make things better, then change everything; relationships, job, car, clothes, and even hair color. She sees love as being the reason people stay together and if there isn’t love then move on.


Useful Suggestions

RED

If you’re dealing with a Red, listen to what’s being said and how much is based on tradition and stability. They like predictability. Change isn’t seen as desirable just for the sake of change. If there’s a reason to change they will, but it must be their idea.

ORANGE

If you’re dealing with an Orange, expect a great level of sensitivity, caretaking and consideration of, and for, others. They just want to help and will put their own needs after the needs of others.

YELLOW

If you’re dealing with a Yellow, expect them to jump in and offer solutions. If you’re just using them as a sounding board and don’t want their help, then tell them up front and they’ll just listen. Their drive is to solve problems whenever and however they can. If you want their help, then their solutions are viewed as positive. If you don’t want their help then their solutions are seen as nagging and trying to control.

GREEN

If you’re dealing with a Green, understand they need to express their emotions, where they are and how they’re feeling. This is done by being emotionally expressive. They love change and see it as the only way to solve problems. Predictability and redundancy are relationship killers.


Stay Tuned

The next blog will cover the day on the golf course ending at the 19th hole with the Robert (Red), George (Green), Oscar (Orange) Dan Yonkers (Yellow), and Ralph (Red). It will offer their perspectives and tie together what will be their par for the course.

Don’t know your personality color? Join our personality network and find out what it is. The cost is only $1.95. A small price for the wealth of information you’ll receive. Information that can improve the quality of your relationships, minimize the conflict in your interactions with people, and change your life forever.

Join Now for just $1.95

September 12, 2012 at 12:00 am 3 comments


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